Better Luck Next Time

I'm not signing up for a PhD. There, I said it. It has been the most difficult thing that I have had to say in a long time. It's not that I don't want to sign up because I dearly would like to.

It's due to circumstances that I can't sign up at the moment, well more like university policy. It's left a bitter taste in my mouth. I have been told that I cannot finish my Graduate Diploma and start a PhD or Masters at the same time even though it is in the same field. This is despite knowing other students who do this. On top of this I was told that I was not a strong candidate given that I don't have a four year degree with a GPA to brag about.

My experience in research does count as well as the report that was put out. Though the Graduate Office kept referring back to my degree and my performance as an undergraduate student. I'm now beginning to wonder as to what really counts in this whole process.

I know that apart from being qualified, I am highly skilled. I do keep finding myself in jobs where only I can perform the tasks required. It's not that I don't want to train anyone else. Often there is no one else to train or time simply doesn't permit it. I've now been in a research position for a year and my contract even was renewed and I was given a raise. All good things and I consider myself extremely lucky so I am most grateful.

I just would have liked to have been accepted as a PhD Candidate. It's a moot point given that I am not handing in my application. I'm going to miss the deadline seeing that I have not approached any possible academic referees.

So I'm working full-time and back to completing a Graduate Diploma part-time. I don't know whether I can finish it in the next six months yet. I am going to talk to someone about this possibility once I recover from the fallout. It's taken a fair amount out of me. I can't remember the last time feeling so drained.

It would be a lie to say that I wasn't upset.