Life in Perspective

Yesterday, I volunteered at a charity Christmas lunch. It is some thing that I do regularly. I remember signing up for it when I found myself at a loose end one year. I didn't know what to expect at first but I found it very rewarding despite having some initial doubts.

This year I was given a role where I felt that I was of practical use. I was a Steward and my task was to hand out meals and drinks to people. While it was hot and at times stuffy in the tent, I loved meeting people and seeing the results first hand.

Then I had a Christmas Magic moment that caught me by surprise. A couple arrived late to the lunch and were desperate to meet up with some long lost friends. They had arranged to meet at the lunch. And while I did want them to find their friends, it was an impossible task as a large amount of people had arrived and I wasn't sure where or how to start. I offered to show them to a table and while doing so, one of their friends approached. It was serendipitous to say the least. I felt warm inside witnessing their reunion.

Then we fast forward to today. I spent some of my time at a hospital where a family friend is dying. I felt utterly useless and I didn't really know what to say or do. It became especially difficult when she addressed me as her daughter when her daughter had left the room to speak with the nurse manager. I'm ashamed to admit that I left at the first opportunity and did some shopping. That was an improvement on my first instinct to head to the nearest pub for a quiet drink.

I did make a promise to myself today though. No matter what happens academically, I need to live a life filled with people who I care about and love. Because at the end of it, nothing else really matters.

Reasons to Date a Chemist

• We might name a molecule after you.
• Chemists know how to handle HOT items!
• Chemists have all the right elements.
• Guaranteed to experience great chemistry.
• Chemists have all the solutions.
• Chemists are used to exchanging fluids.
• We are constantly learning and improving our techniques.
• We have no problems resorting to gadgets and gizmos to get the job done.
• We are used to pulling all nighters.
• Who else better to experiment with, than a chemist?
• We do it periodically on the table.
• It's a mystery what we wear under our lab coats.
• We like to experiment.
• We always wear protection.
• We have chemistry.
• Chemists can handle chain reactions, with multiple stages.
• Chemists know the difference between "organic" and "orgasmic".

Student Politics

I'm not one to get involved in politics. I have a healthy interest in politics but I've never participated beyond voting. Until now.

I have spent a week campaigning not just for myself as a postgrad representative but also to oust the incumbent Guild President. It took up a rather large amount of time and consequently I missed a couple of deadlines of which I will be sorting out. [sigh]

However it was all worth it. I was voted in and I suspect to the disgust of the current representative. I don't mind nor am I intimidated as I am hoping to working with them and the new Student Guild that has been voted in. And hopefully get some things achieved.

It really will be interesting when I meet them in a couple days. Apparently the PSA has mugs and t-shirts, both of which I have only just heard about. Interesting times ahead I'm sure.

Research Momentum...Lack Of...

This is applicable to the week I've had so far. Last Friday, I exhausted the supply of one of my reagents. I did place an order in on Monday but it didn't arrive until Wednesday. By this time the rate at which any work was being done at that moment in time had fallen to slightly above zero. At the moment, it is zero. I am procrastinating here after all when I should be over there working.

It's not that I don't want to do the work, it's just that I don't feel like it. I was running experiments daily and getting a lot done, 20 hours of work in nine hours is something of an achievement. After days of no progress and frustration, I'm quite willing to wait for a new working week before I start up again.

Besides this I have time to prepare for next week or so I tell myself repeatedly. I also have a deadline that I can still meet well before it comes whizzing by. And I can study for my upcoming exam.

I didn't find it this difficult to start work from a period of rest before. Normally it goes from zero to a lot almost instantaneously. At the moment I have many reasons to do this but not a lot of motivation.

Better Luck Next Time

I'm not signing up for a PhD. There, I said it. It has been the most difficult thing that I have had to say in a long time. It's not that I don't want to sign up because I dearly would like to.

It's due to circumstances that I can't sign up at the moment, well more like university policy. It's left a bitter taste in my mouth. I have been told that I cannot finish my Graduate Diploma and start a PhD or Masters at the same time even though it is in the same field. This is despite knowing other students who do this. On top of this I was told that I was not a strong candidate given that I don't have a four year degree with a GPA to brag about.

My experience in research does count as well as the report that was put out. Though the Graduate Office kept referring back to my degree and my performance as an undergraduate student. I'm now beginning to wonder as to what really counts in this whole process.

I know that apart from being qualified, I am highly skilled. I do keep finding myself in jobs where only I can perform the tasks required. It's not that I don't want to train anyone else. Often there is no one else to train or time simply doesn't permit it. I've now been in a research position for a year and my contract even was renewed and I was given a raise. All good things and I consider myself extremely lucky so I am most grateful.

I just would have liked to have been accepted as a PhD Candidate. It's a moot point given that I am not handing in my application. I'm going to miss the deadline seeing that I have not approached any possible academic referees.

So I'm working full-time and back to completing a Graduate Diploma part-time. I don't know whether I can finish it in the next six months yet. I am going to talk to someone about this possibility once I recover from the fallout. It's taken a fair amount out of me. I can't remember the last time feeling so drained.

It would be a lie to say that I wasn't upset.

A Stumbling Block or Two

I have no project now. I was told that the project that I found to be interesting isn't suitable for a PhD project. I was also told that funding could be slightly dubious but to apply for the scholarship anyway. I may not get it as there are a few factors against me like a crappy GPA and not holding an Honours degree. Though having said that I do have relevant research experience and I do have a published report to wave about at people who care about such things.

I still haven't gotten very far with the paperwork. I'm tired of filling out paperwork for the university frankly. I know I'm running well out of time here but I'm fed up and tired of dealing with administration at the moment. I strongly suspect this is due to the fact that my pay, (or lack of), has been badly mishandled. I'll get it done by the end of the week.

I am so over tutoring the high school student that I took on some months back. She keeps missing classes and to be honest, I wasn't hired as a teacher. It also doesn't help when she doesn't do the work I set her in the first place. Just how one is supposed to pass a subject based on this method I don't know. Fine if you're a prodigy but when you're not?

I've turned down a couple of job offers elsewhere though was told to call them once I had finished my PhD. One place even suggested I complete the PhD on a part-time basis. Not entirely sure what is happening out there in industry but things are sounding like they're more desperate for staff than usual. I know I've removed my CV from recruitment agencies and HR pools so all I can figure that people are contacting me through word of mouth information. I've done this so I can just focus for the next few years ahead on one thing.

Yes, I'm still applying despite having no project, (not so good), and doubts over funding, (also not good).

Oh Look, a Side Project

I am supposed to be filling in my application form but I'm having a little trouble putting into words as to why I want to do a PhD amongst other things. I've even gone into researching, browsing the internet for inspiration. It's only added to the amount of procrastinating that I have been doing of late over applying.

Though I did manage to find something interesting along the way. Barrick Gold Corporation is looking to increase their silver recovery in gold mining and has offered to fund someone's research into it should their proposal be acceptable. In addition to this there's a US$10 million performance bonus. I know very little of this area but I can't help but notice this all the same.

More information at Unlock the Value.

It could even be a side project, though I'm yet to figure out how I would manage something like this or whether I would even have the time to think about another process on top of the one that I will be working on.

I need to focus.

The First Hoops

I'll start off by admitting that I haven't gotten around to filling in all the paperwork for the PhD application. It's not the best course of action granted especially when they're asking for a CV, referees and such. Also signatures too.

In addition to this it has finally become glaringly obvious that I do not have an Honours degree. I did point this out and I did mention it but everything would be ok. Well it isn't as simple as everyone made it out to be and I was waiting for complications. And they've come.

I'm not sure what they are and will find out this week. I can allude to a research paper coming out with my name on it as an author which should get me through the door. I can also mention that I've been working in research for a year now so I have relevant experience in that.

In addition to this I am constantly told that I would thrive in a PhD and do one well. I'm not altogether sure what this is supposed to mean and it's starting to scare me a little. The last time people told me that I would do well and thrive in something was before I entered university. Despite graduating and getting a real job with a career path, I'm now back at uni.

I'm jumping through the hoops regardless to get accepted. It will give me some sense of certainty for the next three years but I think that's really all I'm going to get.

My First Deadline

I thought that I would mark the first deadline of many to come by giving it a post all of its own. I am bound to lose count of the ones to come. Let's just hope I don't miss any of them.

I have until the 31st of October to put in my application for a scholarship. The word scholarship sends a chill through me as I don't have the best of grades. Though I should be able to get this one as I do have recent and relevant research experience. In addition to this I also have authorship on a paper due to all the experimental work that I've done on a research project. So what has come as a pleasant surprise is now part of my application for a PhD.

The application is asking for my CV, academic transcript, referees, relevant experience, project details, (I still don't know what that is exactly), and much more. It's no wonder I left it in a daze and focussed my attention elsewhere. I will start working on it tomorrow and see how far I get with it. I'm not going to stress over it too much at the moment as more than one person did point out to me that it is over a whole month away.

In between now and then I have a holiday to enjoy.

Uh, Mum, Dad...There's Something You Should Know

I told my parents yesterday that I'm going to sign up for a PhD project.

They took the news better than I expected. I don't know why I was so worried about telling them but I was. It is three years, (I'm not wanting to take any longer), of further study, insane hours and a move back to being a full-time student. It's the strangest career move that I've made yet. Normally I move up or sideways. I don't quite know what direction this move is but I am sure it's not down.

My parents are supportive of my decision. I'm not sure if mum fully understands what it is I'm signing up for which was expected. What was surprising was that dad started using words like "academia", "doctorate" and "thesis title". I wasn't prepared for that and nor did I realise that dad was familiar with the terms.

So the next thing is to let my supervisor know.

Decision Time

It's now time to make a decision.

A project has come my way that I cannot laugh off, or most importantly, forget. It is an industry sponsored project that has me excited. From the details, it looks rather straight forward and if I do manage to make a groundbreaking discovery, there is a potential that the thesis will be embargoed, meaning it doesn't see the light of day for x years.

Upon finishing I have will have two options, one to go into academia and the second to head out to industry and work as a consultant or perhaps as a professional in my field. Knowing this helps a little because for the most part I have the impression that a PhD isn't highly valued in industry. Though then again this is most likely due to the conditions in industry more than anything else. And academia is something I don't know a lot about but I will most likely find out more as the years go by during a PhD.

I have let my potential supervisor know of my interest. I had to, that and the news got out that I was indeed contemplating a PhD. This project seemed to be beckoning for me to take it. He was rather happy at the prospect of me signing on in a PhD. Though I was at pains to stipulate that I do also want to finish my current postgraduate coursework having getting so close to completion and given the amount it's costing me, I want to finish it otherwise I've just taken a lot of expensive courses with nothing to show.

There are deadlines looming for applications, scholarships and funding. When are they? I have no clue. I decided it was safer not asking.

I know I do want to do a PhD, it's just that I need time to think about it a little more and adjust.

It's a TRAP!!

During my time working and studying at university, I have now found myself in the position where most of the people in the department asks me whether I am interested in completing a PhD. Well I suppose if I'm still around and have survived the politics and administration that is known as the university, by their logic I should be able to survive a PhD.

How did I get into this position? To be honest when I look back now I can see the traps so clearly but not so at the time. These academic folks can be sneaky when it suits them best.

Location
I've been given a desk in a lab where I conduct my research. I even have a window with a view. It came with heating and cooling. I've been spoilt really and it's been nice. Let's hope I can keep this same desk should I sign up.

Equipment
I have equipment, equipment dedicated to me. Okay, so some of it is old but at least it works. Well, until I wear it out or it breaks which is never a good thing. I even have access to analytical equipment which is always good for assays without the need to send them away to an external lab.

Food and Drink
There's the morning teas, lunch breaks and afternoon teas. The departmental stuff is great. I mean I've gotten to meet the other people who work and study here and the PhD Candidates don't appear to be stressed out. Though then again work and study aren't mentioned at such get-togethers. The appearance of cake guarantees everyone comes out of their offices and labs, especially on birthdays.

Sometimes on Friday afternoons we do get to kick back and have a few drinks. Nothing like getting your supervisor tipsy.

The divisional functions are fun. That's where I've met people outside of my cloistered area. Though granted, I've had discussions with people about things that I felt I didn't quite grasp but it's a good sign that they talk to me again at the next function. So I can't be doing too badly or it could be them wanting to talk about their research to anyone who will listen. Nevertheless I do find it interesting when the topic strays to subjects from killer microbes to nanotechnology.

Of course the food is good and the drink is also good. They're extremely useful events on days I forget to bring my lunch in or when my personal stash of food and drink is at a low.

Interesting Project Offers
You get talking to people about work related topics. It can't be helped. It happens. This does lead to talking about ideas and things. That's when things get hazy and before you know it, you're talking PhD Project and next thing you know people are jokingly adding "Dr" to your name and it sounds good, really good. Despite this you're able to laugh it off but you are left with a possible project in your brain that will now come to tease you on the days when things are going well in the lab.

Of Funding
This is when the jokes do stop. It's the business end of wooing. When the mention of money comes out, the person making the offer is deadly serious. The application is a mere formality. I just need to say yes, no or that I will think about it. Actually, "no" isn't a viable option at this stage because I wouldn't get the offer unless you were actually wanting to be in this situation as I would have needed to play the game well to get here.

Perhaps this is my own doing after all but I can't figure out who played who here.

A Little Background

I hold a BSc in Science and I've worked in industry since graduating. After 24 months or so I became bored and needed to move on so I signed up for a Graduate Diploma and a paid research position at the same university to fit in a job with studying congruently. And life was grand.

I had a quasi student life and without a care in the world. And my masterplan was to graduate after a couple of years of part-time study and head back out into industry with new skills. As all masterplans go, this one was doomed to change.

And it has with one simple question, "Have you ever considered taking up a PhD?"